“Trauma changes the way people experience their bodies” - a conversation about movement and recovery with Laura Khoudari

Today, I’m thrilled to publish the first episode of the Life after Trauma podcast.

I had a great conversation with author

Laura Khoudari

. Her book, Lifting Heavy Things: Healing Trauma One Rep at Time, has been recognized across the fitness and mental health industries as well as by NPR and The New York Times. I loved this book. It’s about empowering people to find their way toward a movement practice that feels right for them. It’s not necessarily about spending money or exercise as a kind of performance, but the profound, internal work of deepening a connection with your own body. More than anything, it’s an incredible resource for anyone looking to rebuild their relationship with exercise after trauma.

For me, exercise has been a very fraught and painful aspect of recovering from sexual violence. For a long time, the adrenaline released through exercise flooded my body with an overwhelming sense of panic. This is very common among survivors. This study found that women survivors of sexual violence understood that exercise of any intensity came with the risk of being triggered. At the same time, many survivors know that exercise could be beneficial to their recovery. Figuring out how to incorporate movement into your life without getting triggered was one of the messiest and most complicated aspects of my recovery. I wish Laura’s book had existed back then, but I’m so glad that it’s available to the survivors who need it today.

In our conversation, we spoke about:

• How to navigate exercise while living in a traumatised body

• The role of embodiment in movement practices

• How mainstream exercise culture can be inhospitable to people who’ve experienced trauma (as well as people with disabilities, people in larger bodies, folks who don’t feel comfortable in rigid genders etc).

• How to manage triggers

• The importance of reclaiming your agency and establishing boundaries

• How “healing is hard work” and the importance of giving ourselves time to rest.

  In particular, I loved what Laura had to say about the similarities between integration and recovery post-therapy and post-workout.

Resources:

• Laura’s book, website and newsletter.

• Movement@Home - A crowdsourced directory of trauma-sensitive and HAES (Health at every size)-aligned movement practitioners offering remote at-home services

• Trauma informed weight lifting directory

• Hope ignited directory

Here’s the resource excerpted from Lifting Heavy Things that Laura generously offered to share:

Settle and Integrate

Processing trauma is heavy lifting and it can provoke moments of ner- vous system arousal. After spending time and energy processing a piece of your trauma, no matter the modality you use, I strongly urge you to take a moment to settle your system, find some calm, and make space to integrate the work you’ve done before moving on. In this exercise, I’ll describe a self-care practice that uses touch through placing your own hands on your head, neck, shoulders, and trunk.

what you will need: Clothing that allows easy access to your arms and hands A place where you won’t be disturbed

duration: 3 to 4 minutes

1. Take a moment to feel yourself being supported by your seat or the floor beneath you. If you’d like, take a breath, inhaling and exhal- ing through your nose. You will now move through a sequence of hand-to-body positions. Spend twenty to thirty seconds in each, or however long feels right to you.

2. Close your eyes and, with your palms to your face, fingers point- ing up, place the heels of your hands on your eyes or cheekbones (whichever feels better) and let your fingers rest on your forehead.

3. Next, with your eyes open or closed, cup the center of your forehead with one hand while cradling the back of your head with the other, applying equal amounts of gentle pressure. Let your fingers point wherever feels natural.

4. For the third position, bring your hands to your shoulders, either by crossing your arms over your chest and placing your hands on opposite shoulders, or by placing each hand on its respective shoul- der and lowering your elbows. Apply gentle downward pressure.

5. Next, bring your hands to your back, near your waist if possible, and support the back of your body.

6. For the final position, bring one hand to your forehead and the other to the center of your chest, providing support to the front of your body.

7. End with your hands in an easy position, perhaps prayer, with your chin somewhat tucked. Feel for either your breath on your finger- tips or sensations in and around your hands. Thank yourself for taking this moment to provide yourself with support and care.

From Lifting Heavy Things: Healing Trauma One Rep at a Time

More about Laura:

Laura Khoudari is a trauma-informed writer and wellness coach. Her work as a leader in trauma-informed weight lifting and her book, Lifting Heavy Things: Healing Trauma One Rep at Time, have been recognized across the fitness and mental health industries as well as by NPR and The New York Times. She was a runner-up in Roxane Gay’s Audacious Book Club Essay Writing Contest and her personal essays have appeared in Archetype and Human Shift. Learn more about her and her work at laurakhoudari.com, on Instagram @laurakhoudari, and through her newsletter Tender at The Desk and Stove. Her first book, Lifting Heavy Things, is available now.