Clare, this is a powerful and vital essay to educate people about the issue of sexual violence as a public health concern. I remember reading in Dr. Gabor Mate's book (I think it was The Myth of Normal, but it could have been a different one) about a startling statistic that relates to what you wrote about here: that over 80% of women diagnosed with endometriosis (which I have) were sexually abused/assaulted. That's a phenomenal number, a jarring one.
Also, what's to be said about the correlation between certain autoimmune conditions and cancers and neurological diagnoses with sexual trauma? There's a large percentage there, as well.
In my view, sexual trauma is still stigmatized. Or at least the victims are. We are often silenced, suppressed, and diminished. Even yesterday I met with a friend who told me that her husband "used to push other women sexually" before she had met him. I told her, "That is sexual violence. It's not okay." She didn't want to admit her husband was like that. But I felt it was important to tell her that we need to give voice to the truth, to call things what they are, even when they are ugly truths.
How else will society heal? I don't see another way, besides truth and ongoing compassionate care.
Another thing is, most people don't realize how trauma recovery works. It's an ebb and flow. There are good days and bad days. There is progress and there are seasons of regression. This is all normal. Healing is not linear. But in my experience, few people truly understand - or are equipped - to handle the often volatile swings of recovery. We still don't really grasp mental health, do we?
One reason trauma survivors may never receive the help they need is that the mental health care system is still very much focused on quick, easy solutions. Survivors tend to be overmedicated. If inpatient, their records are like a scarlet letter, an indelible mark against them that can, and often is, used to minimize anything else they may suffer from in the future - medical or otherwise. They are labeled: bipolar, borderline, schizophrenic, depressed, anxious, suicidal.
Professionals in health care do not recognize trauma as the underlying cause of a person's symptoms. They simply treat the symptoms, like a bandage. One example is the granddaughter of a friend of mine, who is 19 years old and is already using a walker. She has severe chronic pain, has seizures daily, suffers from insomnia and nightmares, and is unable to function, let alone work. If you knew her trauma history, you would understand why. Yet the doctors she sees just give her cursory examinations, medicate her, and send her on her way. They do not connect the dots. I see this as one of the many problems with trauma survivors receiving proper care.
Maybe because it's so complex, and the US health care system, anyway, is still designed in a very compartmentalized way: specializations in conventional medicine do not make for comprehensive and long-term care. For those who have access to functional or holistic medicine, it's a step forward. But how many trauma survivors have access to those resources? Not many. Alternative medicine is not covered by US health insurance policies, another problem I see. So, you pay an exorbitant fee out of pocket for alternative treatments, like somatic therapies (EMDR, neurofeedback, brain spotting, myofascial release, psychedelic therapies, etc.). It's grossly unfair.
You are shedding light on an important topic, raising vital questions that must be addressed. The collective trauma of this current society is wrecking humanity. If we don't intervene, what will become of us?
Thank you for sharing your experiences, Jeannie. I'm so glad this piece resonated with you.
I strongly believe that if we were able to have a better conversation about trauma (and specifically sexual trauma), we would be a healthier society. Thank you for being here 🙏
Yes to still stigmatized. Until the society can recognize that we live in a world wide rape culture in which the shame of admitting you were a victim is worse than when famous offenders shamelessly brag, there is stigma. The exact wrong stigma. Thanks for calling it out.
I love your Substack. As a survivor who has struggled with the medical (including mental health) industrial complex all my life, YES. I'm now a yoga/movement teacher and as part of that study somatics and embodiment, including brain spotting and IFS, and WHOA treatment has improved dramatically in the last 3 decades. Somatic and body based psychotherapy actually addresses and can improve the long terms health consequences of complex post traumatic stress. And let me say this...we are all different, of course. I'm not so good with silence. I love your Substack for the way you break with it. And for myself, testifying before US judiciary committees to get the statute of limitations removed for offenders of child sexual abuse, organizing protests, going to the police about my own primary offender gave me a foundation for believing in NOT MY FAULT, which in the end, turns the psyche around. I get this isn't everyone's path. But wanted to speak for its benefits.
Thank you Skylar. Yoga has been a huge part of my recovery too. I practice at home using online videos, because I couldn't find a single trauma-informed teacher in Dublin. But it has been a deeply grounding and healing process for me.
Thank you also for sharing your personal experience. Every survivor needs to find their own path, and I appreciate you sharing at least a small piece of yours.
I'm grateful that you're here (& have also subscribed to your newsletter too!) 🙏
Thanks for the subscribe. Have you seen Arielle Schwartz's videos on line? She wrote Complex PTSD and is a leader in trauma informed yoga (yes, hard to find!). I took a yoga teacher training with her this fall on Polyvagal & Yoga.
Clare, thanks for sharing this. I can only imagine what going through this must've felt like. But keep up highlighting this issue--such an important topic. I hope you're doing well this week, all things considered. -Thalia
Yessss!!!! I’ve always pondered that what I really needed post sexual assault was health care - time and safety to recover. Which means what should be basic healthcare stuff in my mind - safe housing, healthy food, access to good body work like physical therapies etc, mental health therapy, paid medical leave, etc. this is an absolutely excellent piece! Thank you.
Thank you Emily! That's exactly what I wanted too, basically the time and support to heal and recover. It often feels like we've a long way to go toward achieving that, but I hope we're at least beginning to have the right conversations. Thank you for being here and for your very generous support 🙏
This is so so important -- thank you for writing about it. I've felt so frustrated seeing what survivors have to go through to get the care they really need. It often takes so much self-advocacy, which can be difficult to do after experiencing sexual trauma, and also, as you point out, is quite expensive and isn't accessible to most folks :( Here in the US, some healthcare systems have patient navigators to help cancer patients sort through treatments and costs, offer support, and to help them advocate for themselves with doctors. I wish that we could also have a version of that for sexual violence survivors -- along with more money to fund other healthcare & support costs that survivors have to take on...it still blows my mind that therapy is often an out of pocket cost.
Thank you Kelsey. I love the idea of a 'patient navigator'. After I published this piece, I was chatting with a friend who told me about a similar process in the Irish healthcare system. It isn't a formal programme, but a kind of phone tag where care-providers from different departments co-ordinate and streamline the information that's communicated to the patient. Listening to my friend describe it, it felt both obvious and invaluable. I agree that there should be something similar for survivors of sexual violence, though it does sometimes feel like we've a long way to go before we reach that point. Thank you for being here 🙏
That’s so cool that there is a similar process in the Irish healthcare system! Hopefully someday something similar can be brought to both our healthcare systems for survivors of sexual violence 🤞🏻
Another well thought out and researched article! When I saw a psychiatrist during a period of intense depression, he told me that I couldn’t have PTSD because I ‘didn’t have flashbacks like Rocky’. That my pain was because the therapist I was seeing (who helped me break through denial) was ‘infecting me with ideas’. That I couldn’t have body image issues because ‘I know that fat women are considered beautiful in South Asia’. It took just 15 minutes. I’ve never sought help from a psychiatrist again.
Dee, I'm so sorry. I could feel my rage rising up as I read about your experience and to think that he is considered a medical "professional". Such appauling behaviour and I'm so sorry you had to experience it. 💕
Clare, this is a powerful and vital essay to educate people about the issue of sexual violence as a public health concern. I remember reading in Dr. Gabor Mate's book (I think it was The Myth of Normal, but it could have been a different one) about a startling statistic that relates to what you wrote about here: that over 80% of women diagnosed with endometriosis (which I have) were sexually abused/assaulted. That's a phenomenal number, a jarring one.
Also, what's to be said about the correlation between certain autoimmune conditions and cancers and neurological diagnoses with sexual trauma? There's a large percentage there, as well.
In my view, sexual trauma is still stigmatized. Or at least the victims are. We are often silenced, suppressed, and diminished. Even yesterday I met with a friend who told me that her husband "used to push other women sexually" before she had met him. I told her, "That is sexual violence. It's not okay." She didn't want to admit her husband was like that. But I felt it was important to tell her that we need to give voice to the truth, to call things what they are, even when they are ugly truths.
How else will society heal? I don't see another way, besides truth and ongoing compassionate care.
Another thing is, most people don't realize how trauma recovery works. It's an ebb and flow. There are good days and bad days. There is progress and there are seasons of regression. This is all normal. Healing is not linear. But in my experience, few people truly understand - or are equipped - to handle the often volatile swings of recovery. We still don't really grasp mental health, do we?
One reason trauma survivors may never receive the help they need is that the mental health care system is still very much focused on quick, easy solutions. Survivors tend to be overmedicated. If inpatient, their records are like a scarlet letter, an indelible mark against them that can, and often is, used to minimize anything else they may suffer from in the future - medical or otherwise. They are labeled: bipolar, borderline, schizophrenic, depressed, anxious, suicidal.
Professionals in health care do not recognize trauma as the underlying cause of a person's symptoms. They simply treat the symptoms, like a bandage. One example is the granddaughter of a friend of mine, who is 19 years old and is already using a walker. She has severe chronic pain, has seizures daily, suffers from insomnia and nightmares, and is unable to function, let alone work. If you knew her trauma history, you would understand why. Yet the doctors she sees just give her cursory examinations, medicate her, and send her on her way. They do not connect the dots. I see this as one of the many problems with trauma survivors receiving proper care.
Maybe because it's so complex, and the US health care system, anyway, is still designed in a very compartmentalized way: specializations in conventional medicine do not make for comprehensive and long-term care. For those who have access to functional or holistic medicine, it's a step forward. But how many trauma survivors have access to those resources? Not many. Alternative medicine is not covered by US health insurance policies, another problem I see. So, you pay an exorbitant fee out of pocket for alternative treatments, like somatic therapies (EMDR, neurofeedback, brain spotting, myofascial release, psychedelic therapies, etc.). It's grossly unfair.
You are shedding light on an important topic, raising vital questions that must be addressed. The collective trauma of this current society is wrecking humanity. If we don't intervene, what will become of us?
Thank you for sharing your experiences, Jeannie. I'm so glad this piece resonated with you.
I strongly believe that if we were able to have a better conversation about trauma (and specifically sexual trauma), we would be a healthier society. Thank you for being here 🙏
Yes to still stigmatized. Until the society can recognize that we live in a world wide rape culture in which the shame of admitting you were a victim is worse than when famous offenders shamelessly brag, there is stigma. The exact wrong stigma. Thanks for calling it out.
I love your Substack. As a survivor who has struggled with the medical (including mental health) industrial complex all my life, YES. I'm now a yoga/movement teacher and as part of that study somatics and embodiment, including brain spotting and IFS, and WHOA treatment has improved dramatically in the last 3 decades. Somatic and body based psychotherapy actually addresses and can improve the long terms health consequences of complex post traumatic stress. And let me say this...we are all different, of course. I'm not so good with silence. I love your Substack for the way you break with it. And for myself, testifying before US judiciary committees to get the statute of limitations removed for offenders of child sexual abuse, organizing protests, going to the police about my own primary offender gave me a foundation for believing in NOT MY FAULT, which in the end, turns the psyche around. I get this isn't everyone's path. But wanted to speak for its benefits.
Thank you Skylar. Yoga has been a huge part of my recovery too. I practice at home using online videos, because I couldn't find a single trauma-informed teacher in Dublin. But it has been a deeply grounding and healing process for me.
Thank you also for sharing your personal experience. Every survivor needs to find their own path, and I appreciate you sharing at least a small piece of yours.
I'm grateful that you're here (& have also subscribed to your newsletter too!) 🙏
Thanks for the subscribe. Have you seen Arielle Schwartz's videos on line? She wrote Complex PTSD and is a leader in trauma informed yoga (yes, hard to find!). I took a yoga teacher training with her this fall on Polyvagal & Yoga.
I'll check out Arielle's work, thank you for the recommendation! 🙏
Clare, thanks for sharing this. I can only imagine what going through this must've felt like. But keep up highlighting this issue--such an important topic. I hope you're doing well this week, all things considered. -Thalia
Thank you Thalia! I really appreciate your kind words 🙏
Yessss!!!! I’ve always pondered that what I really needed post sexual assault was health care - time and safety to recover. Which means what should be basic healthcare stuff in my mind - safe housing, healthy food, access to good body work like physical therapies etc, mental health therapy, paid medical leave, etc. this is an absolutely excellent piece! Thank you.
Thank you Emily! That's exactly what I wanted too, basically the time and support to heal and recover. It often feels like we've a long way to go toward achieving that, but I hope we're at least beginning to have the right conversations. Thank you for being here and for your very generous support 🙏
Clare, this is so well put. Thank you for speaking to this deeply important topic.
Thanks Holly. I really appreciate that. 🙏
This is so so important -- thank you for writing about it. I've felt so frustrated seeing what survivors have to go through to get the care they really need. It often takes so much self-advocacy, which can be difficult to do after experiencing sexual trauma, and also, as you point out, is quite expensive and isn't accessible to most folks :( Here in the US, some healthcare systems have patient navigators to help cancer patients sort through treatments and costs, offer support, and to help them advocate for themselves with doctors. I wish that we could also have a version of that for sexual violence survivors -- along with more money to fund other healthcare & support costs that survivors have to take on...it still blows my mind that therapy is often an out of pocket cost.
Thank you Kelsey. I love the idea of a 'patient navigator'. After I published this piece, I was chatting with a friend who told me about a similar process in the Irish healthcare system. It isn't a formal programme, but a kind of phone tag where care-providers from different departments co-ordinate and streamline the information that's communicated to the patient. Listening to my friend describe it, it felt both obvious and invaluable. I agree that there should be something similar for survivors of sexual violence, though it does sometimes feel like we've a long way to go before we reach that point. Thank you for being here 🙏
That’s so cool that there is a similar process in the Irish healthcare system! Hopefully someday something similar can be brought to both our healthcare systems for survivors of sexual violence 🤞🏻
Another well thought out and researched article! When I saw a psychiatrist during a period of intense depression, he told me that I couldn’t have PTSD because I ‘didn’t have flashbacks like Rocky’. That my pain was because the therapist I was seeing (who helped me break through denial) was ‘infecting me with ideas’. That I couldn’t have body image issues because ‘I know that fat women are considered beautiful in South Asia’. It took just 15 minutes. I’ve never sought help from a psychiatrist again.
In common with a lot of CSA survivors, I have incomplete memories. And we know the narrative that gets woven about people like us.
Also an excellent point! There are well-established scientific reasons for incomplete memories but we are mistreated and misbelieved.
Dee, I'm so sorry. I could feel my rage rising up as I read about your experience and to think that he is considered a medical "professional". Such appauling behaviour and I'm so sorry you had to experience it. 💕