🎁 A different kind of gift guide

50+ things that have made my life better

I’m not sure the world needs another gift guide. Nobody needs more stuff and shopping is almost never a sustainable solution to our problems. But, there are some things I’ve bought for myself or gifted to loved ones that bring genuine joy and comfort to my life. I’ve written wrote about Wintering, and how we should try to make the harshest season more survivable for ourselves. 

With that in mind, I wanted to take the gift guide format and reimagine it as a way to better care for ourselves.

It’s not self-care exactly. That involves boundary setting and living in line with our values and other things that are frankly a lot more difficult than clicking ‘buy now’. But sometimes stuff does help and I wanted to share some of the things that have helped me.

I’ve included links where I think they'll be useful, but also suggest that you do your own research to find the things that make sense for your life. I never use affiliate links. For books, please consider your local independent bookstore. Bookshop.org is also a good option if you’re in a region they serve. This email might give you some ideas for holiday gifts.

But what I wish for most is that you might see something you’d like to buy for yourself.

If you’d like to receive something I’ve listed below, feel free to forward it to someone as a gentle hint. 😉 

This list will likely be too long to fit in your email, so please click through for more. To keep things organised, I’ve broken my suggestions down into a few categories: 

• ☕ For your body

• 🧠 For your brain

• ❤️ For your heart

• 🍩 For your belly

• 🔧 If practicality is your love language

• 💥 Things to spark your creativity

Wearing my Oodie as I type these words!

☕ For your body:

1. I got an Oodie for my birthday last year and have worn it every cold day since. 

2. A bag of beans to warm in the microwave. I bought an inexpensive one which has fallen apart from overuse so I’m on the lookout for another one. I also tried one of those plugin water bottles which worked OK until it leaked its chemical innards. The classic hot water bottle is also great. (If you’re interested in more of my opinions about hot water bottles, I wrote a short essay about it over here.)

3. Heat tech. I’m no longer recommending Marks & Spencers after the stitching unraveled in a few of my tops, but Uniqlo heat tech has yet to disappoint. 

4. I bought my partner an Ember Mug a couple of years ago. She loves tea but never managed to drink it before it got cold. She still uses it almost everyday. 

5. Love hoodies from Superdry. 

6. I’ve long been a devotee of Kiehl's moisturizers. I like this body cream & this hand cream which smells like grapefruit. 

7. I’ve recommended these earplugs to countless friends and bought 2 pairs for myself. If you’re sensitive to noise, they make the world feel a little more inhabitable. 

8. I always recommend a good pair of noise-canceling headphones especially if you commute/work in an office. 

9. I got a Future is Female sweatshirt from Other Wild years ago and it’s still very cozy. 

10. Really good socks. I always shop the men's section, though socks really shouldn’t be gendered!

11. PJs that are a little pricier. Not wearing stained, old shirts to bed is one of the keys to a good life. Size up & put them on at 4pm if that’s what you feel like. 

12. Extra loungewear. In my experience, it’s worth it to spend a little more and have it for longer. 

13. There’s nothing quite like a new pair of slippers. 

14. For years, I relied on a sunrise alarm to get me up on dark winter mornings. The one I have isn’t sold anymore, but it made commuting in the dark a little easier.  

15. This neck stretcher came the whole way from China, but was worth it. Feels so good especially if you slept funny on your neck. (Thanks to

    Haley Nahman
    for this idea!)

16. I spent €7 on a yoga block years ago and still use it all the time. Even if I don’t do a full work out, putting it under my hips is enough to reset my system. 

17. A simple diffuser. I inherited a fancy one, but still prefer the analoge style. Pair with these natural beeswax tealights. 

18. A new vibrator or a Dipsea subscription. 

19. Have been using a natural deodorant from this company for years. The founder began making the products she needed herself. Great if you have a sensitive system, or want the things you put ON our body to be as clean as the things you put IN your body. 

20. This eye mask was cheap but soft and comfortable. 

🧠 For your brain:

Subscriptions are a gift that keeps on giving. Think newspapers, The New Yorker or Substacks like Culture Study or, ahem, this one. 

Some novels I read and loved this year: 

Big Swiss by Jen Beagin, Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld and Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin

Some ‘flip through’ books to have around the house: 

Devotions by Mary Oliver, In the Company of Women by Grace Bonney and Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown

Keep Moving by Maggie Smith, How Lovely the Ruins: Inspirational Poems and Words for Difficult Times and Am I There Yet? by Mari Andrews

Books I think everyone should read:

Good Talk by Mira Jacob, Big Magic by Liz Gilbert & Wintering by Katherine May

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi, Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed and Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb

❤️For your heart:

The name’s Bond, Martino Bond

1. I love a sentimental gift - a favourite book annotated with your notes, a homemade crossword, a personalised IOU, a scavenger hunt.

2. A pet dickie bow (which the pet will hate, but the humans will enjoy!) 

3. This digital photo frame was another gift for my partner that I’m so happy I bought. Some of our favourite memories slideshow throughout the day and brings me a lot of joy. It’s pricey, but for me, it’s been worth the money. (Or try an analogue version with a personalised calendar¹)

4. I love jigsaws as a meditative practice. Bonus points if you get a jigsaw made with a photo of something meaningful. (I like the look of this US-based jigsaw company too.)

5. Love the idea of a bespoke baby board book. 

6. Intrigued by these soundwave prints from Jando designs. 

7. I bought a pet portrait from Emma Colbert a few years back and was not disappointed. It’s not a cheap gift, but it is a very meaningful one. Lovely to support an independent artist too. 

8. Use Spotify’s podcast playlist feature (or Podchaser or Himalaya) to build a podcast mixtape.

9. A Five Year journal. Or some moleskins to kickstart a journaling habit. 

10. Often, the best gift is quality time. A night in a hotel, theatre or cinema tickets, a voucher for a massage, a meal or a flight home. 

11. I love the idea of a monthly subscription box too. For Christmas last year, we bought my in-laws a cheese selection box. Fresh flowers, coffee, wine or book subscription boxes could be a nice too. 

    

    Last year’s Christmas present still going strong

🍩 For your belly: 

1. The Flavour Thesaurus is the book I always recommend for food lovers. It’s a compilation of 99 popular ingredients arranged alphabetically, with suggestions for flavours that compliment them. The matchings range from classic (pork & apple) to bizarre (black pudding & chocolate). There’s also a second edition focused on plant-based meals. For a season I kept it on my desk, as a kind of intellectual palate cleanser when I was writing.

2. An apron. I don’t have one, but it’s going on my Christmas list this year.

3. Snacking cakes. The cookbook I’ve raved about so many times before. Pair with this tin. 

4. Pressure cooker/slow cooker. I got mine second hand on adverts.ie, and it’s some of the best money I’ve ever spent. I use it most weeks. 

5. Waffle iron. Another second hand purchase which I don’t use as often as I thought I would, but still recommend. Restaurant quality waffles at home are heavenly, even if it’s only a few times a year. 

6. Cloth napkins, placemats or a tablecloth to make mealtimes a little more special

7. Brought these Grá chocolates to my in-laws the first time I met them and they were a hit. So beautiful too

8. Bought these measuring cups/spoons on Amazon a few years ago and haven’t thought about them since. Stainless steel. No fuss. Work perfectly. 

9. Really good salt. It doesn’t have to cost a lot, but adds a divine mineral-y-ness to any meal.

10. A copy of Scoop which includes an essay from me. 

11. Nice tea. 

12. Little jars of this paste - excellent on pasta, good bread & vegetables.

🔧 If practicality is your love language:

1. Silicon reusable sandwich bags have been a game changer in our house. I couldn’t bear to bin a plastic bag after a single use, so I washed them out and left them to dry on the counter. They then copulated and reproduced until the whole counter was a mess of plastic bags in various stages of decay. We do still have a few disposable sandwich bags - for freezing raw meat/fish or sending people home with treats - but I doubt we’ll ever buy them again. 

2. A pair of blue light glasses made using my iPad possible again. I still avoid using it late at night, but the glasses made a huge difference. 

3. These privacy sliders are great. 

4. Earlier this year, I got one of those insulated water bottles that keep water cold even when it’s hot out. 

5. A KeepCup - I recommend the cork ones so the hot beverage won't burn your finger tips.

6. A shhhowercap. I use mine all the time. 

Our book nook

💥 Things to spark your creativity: 

1. I bought a Sculpt starter kit to get us through covid and it was great fun. 

2. Love the idea of these watercolor pens

3. I do not have the patience/skill for this, but isn’t this embroidered journal of the year nice?

4. A kintsugi kit to repair something that broke

5. A block printing kit

6. Book Nook kit - this was a big hit in our house. 

7. Magna tiles or legos = hours of fun. 

8. Search Etsy for custom colouring books. 

9. A bought myself a Remarkable a few years back to make the process of book editing less awkward. Have never regretted it, though it was a pricey purchase. 

If you enjoyed this essay, you might also appreciate:

💬 Self-care through the festive period

📚 Eight books I recommend to every survivor of sexual violence

💕 If this piece resonated with you, please tap the heart below to help spread the word.

💬 In the comments, I’d love to hear about the best things you’ve bought for yourself. I’m especially curious about less expensive things, that have really made a difference in your life.

1. I’m linking to one suggestion here, but there are lots of cute options online.