5 things that made my heart soar in October

Autumnal salads, sunrise runs & a movie that *really* made me think

Welcome to Beyond Survival, a publication about life after trauma. Thanks for all your sweet comments this month. I was delighted to share my exciting news with you, and was very touched by your support. (The comments on this one were also so kind!)

I published five issues this month. Here’s a roundup in case you missed any:

Ask Clare: How to find a good therapist

Reasons I’m Glad I Lived

💬 When was the last time life really surprised you?

💍 I’m engaged!

What I learned growing my Substack to 500+ subscribers

Before we dive into the recommendations, I wanted to share two ways you can get involved with my work. 

1. If you’re a survivor of sexual violence and would be open to answering a few questions about your experiences, please consider completing this survey. It is anonymous and confidential, and you can skip as many questions as you like. If you would find it useful, here is a simple grounding exercise before you start too.

2. I’m soliciting queries for my ‘Ask Clare’ advice column. Starting next month, only paid subscribers will be able to submit their questions so if you’ve got something on your mind, this is a great time to ask: 

Writing about trauma can be heavy, but one thing that makes it possible is living a good life outside of my work. Here are some things that have made me think over the last month.

Big Vegan Flavour

I mentioned this in July, but want to give it another shout out. Big Vegan Flavour is an encyclopedic guide to building delicious plant-centric meals. I’ve recommended  this amazing, 10-ingredient lentil bolognese to many friends (vegan and not!) and have always gotten positive reviews. I’ve already tried a few of the recipes and have never been disappointed.  If you want to eat less animal-based food, I think this is a great place to start. 

Great Photo, Lovely Family

Great Photo, Lovely Family is a film about a serial pedophile and how his family tries to come to terms with the harm he has caused. Co-directed by Rachel Beth Anderson and Amanda Mustard, it traces how Mustard’s grandfather sexually abused young girls throughout his life. The film includes horrific testimony from the abuser, as well as the women he targeted. The bottomless pain and trauma caused by childhood sexual abuse is difficult to convey in a film, as is the complexity of trying to untangle generations of family trauma. But this film makes a valiant attempt to reckon with the past, even if it is a devastating watch. If you decide to watch it, please take good care of yourself. I consumed this delightful cat content afterwards as a much-needed palate cleanser. 

Claire Keegan’s work

I’ve been reading a lot of Claire Keegan’s work recently as I prepared for a writing workshop she hosted. I’ve always enjoyed her writing, but a deep dive helped me appreciate the depth of her talent. Her stories are quiet and unassuming, though they crescendo powerfully and leave me with a haunting sense of despair. Anne Enright once described John McGahern’s stories as being the “literary equivalent of a hand grenade being rolled across the kitchen floor”, which feels like an apt description for Keegan’s work too. Her most famous and celebrated book is ‘Small Things Like These’, which will soon be released as a film. I’ve been emailing her latest New Yorker story, ‘So Late in the Day’ to lots of friends too. There’s both a print version and an audio one (read by Keegan herself), if you’d like to give it a try. 

Viola Davis in conversation with Tarana Burke

“Success pales in comparison to healing” was the most poignant line I took from this conversation between two survivors and professional powerhouses. They came together to discuss the release of Davis’s book, a memoir of her life growing up in poverty with an abusive and alcoholic father. She writes about surviving childhood sexual abuse, finding her passion for acting and building a life that far exceeded what her child-self could have imagined. This heartfelt and moving conversation between two successful women is about recovery, success and what it means to survive. I really recommend it. 

Lifting Heavy Things by

Laura Khoudari

One of my goals for this year was to develop a strength-training practice. I haven’t really achieved it (aside from the occasional power yoga class), but this book has inspired me to refocus my efforts. Khoudari’s work is both relentlessly practical and deeply humane. She supports people to establish their own definition of wellness, and thinks of strength training as a kind of embodied movement practice. I’m hoping to interview Laura for an upcoming episode of the Beyond Survival podcast, and can’t wait to share that conversation with you soon!

💕 If you found joy in this little round up, please tap the heart to help spread the word.

💬 In the comments, I’d love to hear about the things that have made your think or this month.

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