Either sisters or very good friends. Gal pals. What else could it possibly be, eh? Thanks for your essay and for including trans people, and happy Pride!
The day after my now-wife and I got engaged, her family took us to a celebratory dinner. When we were in the bathroom they asked the waitress to write "Congratulations!" on our dessert plates because we had gotten engaged the night before, and she said, "Wow, both on the same night? What are the chances?!"
When I read your essay, I thought about when I was coming of age in the 1990s and how everyone around me said "gay" all the time as slang. It made me uncomfortable then, though I didn't fully grasp how hurtful it was as a slur against homosexuality.
Now I have a 13-year-old going into eighth grade this year. Last year, she told me how the boys were saying, "That's so gay" to refer to stupid or ridiculous. I told her that using the word gay is wrong in this context, because it is hurtful to people who actually are gay. She gets that.
We also don't say "retarded" in our family for the same reason - it's offensive to people with intellectual disabilities, like my middle daughter.
And, of course, there are many other words we shouldn't say.
It's hard for me to even fathom that someone would call anyone a f*gg*t at all. What does that communicate to the toddler you saw?
Words, as we know as writers, are potent. They can harm or heal. I choose to use my words to heal.
I think what’s been left out of this and so many pieces like it is the shameful behaviour of trans activists. Most right-minded people have no issue with trans people, I imagine it must be a difficult road to walk, and anyone trans should be allowed the dignity and respect of living their life as they choose. But insisting and pushing for the insertion of biological males in vulnerable women’s spaces - prisons, women’s shelters - is just a bridge too far for most. I won’t even go into puberty blockers and the damage done to countless young children. These and more are the things that have turned the tide and while there is no condoning homophobic behaviour or abuse of any sort, the LGBTQI community has done itself a disservice by not distancing itself from the militant trans activists groups who are misogynistic at their core and need to be sidelined. They’ve affected how the entire community is perceived unfortunately.
I have a different view on this one, Gemma. Trans folks are often the most vulnerable members of our community and experience higher rates of violence, hate and discrimination. If anything I feel like I should be using my platform to write more about the harm they experience in everyday life.
I think you’re completely avoiding the issues here but it’s your Substack and your right to do so. I don’t disagree with your comment at all but it doesn’t address mine in any way.
Thank you for this Clare and Happy Pride!!
Either sisters or very good friends. Gal pals. What else could it possibly be, eh? Thanks for your essay and for including trans people, and happy Pride!
Thank you Albe 🌈🏳️🌈
The day after my now-wife and I got engaged, her family took us to a celebratory dinner. When we were in the bathroom they asked the waitress to write "Congratulations!" on our dessert plates because we had gotten engaged the night before, and she said, "Wow, both on the same night? What are the chances?!"
Wow! That really speaks volumes Karen.
Hi Clare,
When I read your essay, I thought about when I was coming of age in the 1990s and how everyone around me said "gay" all the time as slang. It made me uncomfortable then, though I didn't fully grasp how hurtful it was as a slur against homosexuality.
Now I have a 13-year-old going into eighth grade this year. Last year, she told me how the boys were saying, "That's so gay" to refer to stupid or ridiculous. I told her that using the word gay is wrong in this context, because it is hurtful to people who actually are gay. She gets that.
We also don't say "retarded" in our family for the same reason - it's offensive to people with intellectual disabilities, like my middle daughter.
And, of course, there are many other words we shouldn't say.
It's hard for me to even fathom that someone would call anyone a f*gg*t at all. What does that communicate to the toddler you saw?
Words, as we know as writers, are potent. They can harm or heal. I choose to use my words to heal.
Thanks Jeannie. The words we use are indeed very powerful!
I think what’s been left out of this and so many pieces like it is the shameful behaviour of trans activists. Most right-minded people have no issue with trans people, I imagine it must be a difficult road to walk, and anyone trans should be allowed the dignity and respect of living their life as they choose. But insisting and pushing for the insertion of biological males in vulnerable women’s spaces - prisons, women’s shelters - is just a bridge too far for most. I won’t even go into puberty blockers and the damage done to countless young children. These and more are the things that have turned the tide and while there is no condoning homophobic behaviour or abuse of any sort, the LGBTQI community has done itself a disservice by not distancing itself from the militant trans activists groups who are misogynistic at their core and need to be sidelined. They’ve affected how the entire community is perceived unfortunately.
I have a different view on this one, Gemma. Trans folks are often the most vulnerable members of our community and experience higher rates of violence, hate and discrimination. If anything I feel like I should be using my platform to write more about the harm they experience in everyday life.
I think you’re completely avoiding the issues here but it’s your Substack and your right to do so. I don’t disagree with your comment at all but it doesn’t address mine in any way.