Thank you for reading Beyond Survival, a publication about life after trauma. This edition is about the role of reading in my recovery and how I plan to expand it in 2024.
When my partner and I were getting to know each other, I told her that I loved to read. “Me too,” she said, “I’m a hungry reader”.
I love that expression. The way a hunger for books can be considered a bodily urge, a requirement for survival. That’s how I read. It’s the thing I do that most reliably soothes and comforts me. There are times when I can’t read. My recent dental emergency is a good example. I was so worn down by agony and exhaustion, that all I could do was lie on the couch and rewatch old TV shows (including this one which is even better than I remembered).
But in general, reading is the thing I do to return me to who I am. It is a restorative habit, and a bolstering one. I’m working on a longer piece about the role of reading in my recovery but for now, I wanted to share a few reading resolutions I’ve set for this year.
1) To deepen and strengthen my relationship with reading
Reading is very important to me and yet as often happens in life, I let the things that matter most slip from my priorities. My main goal this year is to deepen and strengthen my relationship to reading. This is less about developing a habit, or striving to hit a particular number of books and more about nurturing a relationship with something that has the power to comfort me when nothing else can. I want to stay close to reading throughout the year, and feel as though I have a strong and sustaining relationship with it.
2) To become an audiobook person
I’ve never listened to audiobooks. It might be because Audible dominates the market and I hate giving my money to Amazon. Or it might be because I love podcasts and am loyal to lots of shows. But I want 2024 to be the year I embrace audiobooks. I’ve already listened to my first one (Broken Horses by Brandi Carlile) in four days and am hooked. Next up: Doppelganger by Naomi Klein.
3) Write for ten minutes about each book I finish
This is a suggestion from
which I’m also adopting. I was kind of embarrassed by how often I described books as beautiful in this video, but I don’t always remember what I really loved about them. Writing for 10 minutes about each book shortly after I finish it would allow me to capture my overall impressions and how the story intersects with my life. I’m excited to adopt this practice. (An aside: Would you be interested in reading these short blurbs? I thought the off the cuff format might be fun, but LMK!)4) To re-read more
I used to think re-reading was a waste of time. It feels vaguely capitalistic to focus so much on the number of books read and the accrual of a kind of intellectual capital, but my data-hungry brain loves it. In 2024, I want to lean into the pleasure of re-reading, in reading to understand how the author crafted their book and why it captured me so deeply. I plan to start with Heartburn by Nora Ephron, Blackout by Sarah Hepola and The Art of Memoir by Mary Karr.
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4) To read more queer books
I co-run a queer bookclub in Dublin and together, we’ve read a decent cross-section of queer lit. But there’s so much more I want to explore. Rather than complaining that the book world is too heteronormative1, I want to be proactive about seeking out books that stretch my understanding of what it means to be queer. Please send me recommendations for the best queer book you’ve ever read!
5) To use Storygraph - or not?
I’m undecided on this one. I like the idea of data, building community around reading and having another engine for recommendations. But I don’t like the idea of making my reading a public thing. I share bits and pieces of my reading life here, while also reveling in the privacy of my reading spreadsheet with its shameless DNFs and snarky comments (usually “too hetero”). TBC
6) To experiment with more cookbooks
There are lots of things in life that I didn’t embrace because I decided they were too expensive. Cookbooks are a good example. I bought one years ago and when I never used it, I decided I wasn’t a cookbook person. They are understandably quite pricey - hardback books with full colour photographs - and since I find lots of recipes online, they felt like an unnecessary indulgence. But I was wrong. I’ve been raving about Snacking Cakes since I got it as a gift more than a year ago, and I deeply enjoyed the process of leafing through this year’s cookbook gift on Christmas day marking all the recipes I wanted to cook. So this year my plan is to buy the cookbooks I know will make me a better cook and to use my library to try the ‘maybe’ books.
7) To read a little before bed most nights of the year
For a person who loves and relies on reading as much as I do, I often let it slip. By the time I’m finally in bed, I often just want to scroll around a bit, check the news (again!) and generally mess around. So in 2024, my goal is to always have a kindle book that I can dip into easily before sleep. It settles my mind, and lets me connect with that deeper part of myself before beginning the arduous process of actually trying to fall asleep. Audiobooks could work well here too.
8) To find a balance between Instapaper reading (aka substack pieces, articles etc) and book reading
I read a lot of articles. Years ago, I wrote about the system I’d developed to funnell articles from various parts of the internet into one master reading list. I still use that system - a mix of google alerts, RSS feeds and now, substack - to create what I think of as a personalised publication. I love to sit down with my Instapaper queue, and flit through lots of different smart minds at work. But this year, I want to balance that ‘article’ reading with book reading.
9) And lastly, I want to read the books I actually own before accumulating more.
I don’t know of any voracious reader who doesn’t have a towering TBR stack. I get such comfort from passing an hour in a bookstore and coming home with a stack of books. When I know things are going to be tough for me, I order a bunch of books so at least I’ll have company through the hard times. But I have enough books! I want to read the books I have, before accumulating too many more.
Have you set any reading goals for 2024? I’d love to discuss in the comments!
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✍️ Beyond Survival is written by me, Clare Egan, an award-winning writer and journalist. You can read more about me here, or look at some pretty pictures over here. 👋 Click reply to say hello anytime. Thank you for being here!
It really is!
I always set a goal of 50 books on Goodreads. Sometimes I read more. I read books that are recommended by friends, New York Times, etc. Occasionally I re-read a book, and when my library stack runs out I read from my own library. I just finished "I'm Glad My Mom Died," and am reading "Paranoid Park." I started reading "The Fraud" by Zadie Smith because I've liked her other books, but put this one down. Don't care for it. I might have 500 or 1000 books left to read (according to statistics based on age), so no time left to read books I don't enjoy.
Enjoyed this, thank you. I’m currently reading In Memoriam by Alice Winn and savouring it. It’s easily one of the best queer books I’ve read so far.