💬 Let’s chat about sexuality after trauma

Sex is one of those topics that I wish more people talked about openly

Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash

I’ve been digging deep into the topic of sex after trauma for this Tuesday’s installment of my Ask Clare advice column on asexuality after trauma. It’s an interesting topic to revisit from my current vantage point as a happily-partnered gay woman. Sex is one of those topics that I wish more people talked about openly. It’s a big topic that’s supposed to be intuitive, natural and easy to navigate. But in reality, it’s one of the most complicated facets of human life. 

As I dug deep into my own experiences of sex and sexuality, I was struck by how few resources we have for navigating this essential aspect of life and recovery. 

There’s Esther Perel and Dan Savage. There’s the occasional episode of Death, Sex and Money. There are Sex Diaries and Gillian Anderson’s new book and shows like Sex Education. There’s a whole world of steamy romance (novels, fan fic, films) and the parallel world of pornography. But there are very few intimate, human stories of what sex means in our lives. And even fewer resources when it comes to navigating sex after trauma. 

💬 In the comments below, share your favorite resources that have shaped your thinking around sex after trauma. I'll share some of mine too! 

This is an important conversation, which I want all subscribers to have access to. Sincere thanks to our paid subscribers: your support makes this community possible. 

Sex is a deeply personal topic, so I’ve drafted a few community guidelines. 

Community guidelines

Beyond Survival is a space to talk about life after trauma in all its complexity. You’re welcome to share as much (or as little) of your experiences with the community, but please be mindful of the things that might trigger you in this space. We welcome the use of content warnings, and encourage everyone to practice good self-care as we gather in community together. 

Hate speech, trolling and other forms of online abuse have no place in our community and will be deleted.  

Beyond Survival is based in Ireland, where defamation law limits many survivors’ speech. Please don’t use this platform to name any people or institutions that have harmed you. 

If you need immediate assistance, please contact emergency services.