Instead of writing, I've been...
Getting married! 💍👰♀️🏳️🌈
Welcome to Life after Trauma; I’m Clare Egan. I’m so glad you’re here. Today’s essay is about the things that have been keeping me busy over the last month.
Last month, my partner and I got married. Twice. Our first ceremony was on the beach in Greece, the second - our legal wedding - was in our hometown of Dublin. I’m still processing what was one of the most intense, beautiful, heart-expanding experiences of my life. I expect I will be for some time. I plan to write about our weddings more someday but for now I’m just trying to ease my way back into the rhythm of writing to you.
Thank you for sticking with me through this big life moment. This is the longest break I’ve ever taken from my newsletter and while it was deeply necessary, I’m delighted to be back in your inbox. I’ve got lots of fun things planned over the next few months, including the next iteration of our Artist’s Way creative community. I’m really excited about it, but I need a little more time to figure out the logistics. I’m also planning a new series on Writing about Trauma - how we can share our stories without re-traumatising ourselves, how creativity can be a tool for healing and how we can build community as we think through these questions. Make sure you’re subscribed so you’ll get those essays in your inbox:
Today I’m taking inspiration from
who used this prompt earlier this year. It felt like a nice way to update you on what’s been happening over the last few weeks.Instead of writing, I’ve been…
Getting married to my love on a beautiful Greek beach at sunset.
Sunset on the beach, a few days after our wedding 🌅 Getting married again in a Dublin Registry office, with our closest people and a great photographer.
Recuperating after hosting The Artist’s Way. It was deeply fulfilling, but also brought me close to the precipice of burnout. I’m eager to find a way to build on the beautiful, generative, supportive experience we co-created. I want it to be both meaningful and sustainable for everyone involved.
Scheduling a week of reading deprivation. I tried (& failed) at this during The Artist’s Way, but I know it’ll be beneficial during this period of post-wedding emotional overwhelm.
Processing my emotions. Weddings = family time = emotional labour. I’ve been living inside my emotions, grieving old wounds and trying to stretch my perspective beyond the way things have always been.
Wondering about returning to social media. I’ve been reading
and feeling inspired by her perspective on social media as a tool for long-term creative careers. I’m not great at self-promotion (who is?!) but I’d like to experiment with some gentle, low stakes content creation. (Follow along if you’re curious - my last post was in February so I’m obviously not great at it, but I’d like to give it a shot!)Reading lots of books. Here are a few favourites :
- ’s Consider Yourself Kissed. I laughed. I cried. I talked about it in therapy.)
Good Material by Dolly Alderton which I listened to on audiobook. She really pulled off the Fleishman-like twist at the end!
Knife by Salman Rushdie. Brief, immersive, thought-provoking.
- Love in Exile. A non-saccharine take on love and relationships, would pair nicely with All About Love by bell hooks
Imagining hosting a 40th birthday party where everyone brings me a book that means something to them. (Inspired by
who wrote about her birthday party here!)Ordering personalised stationery, also inspired by
.Reviewing my year so far. I’ve ticked off a few things (got married, grew this community, got a little better at managing my stress), and made a plan for what I might achieve over the coming months. There are 176 days left in the year. If I wrote/revised 2,000 words towards my novel on 100 of those days, I’d get it done!
Booking travel. My partner and I often daydream about the next trip while we’re in the middle of the current one. On the beach in Greece, we booked flights to Rome in September. We’re thinking about a honeymoon later in the year too.
Updating my index. I’ve published 100+ articles, and they’re all organised here!
Updating Survivorstack, which is home to 104 newsletters about life after trauma. I’m incredibly proud of this list which we’ve co-created as a community and which is a tremendous, free resource for survivors around the world.
Growing things. Long term readers will know that I’ve been struggling to grow things, despite lots of efforts over the last few seasons. I recently joined a local growing group and was proud to eat my first homegrown lettuce for lunch yesterday. I have to be honest and say that it’s pretty tasteless but I’m still proud of it!
🙏 Thank you for welcoming me back into your inbox. I never take your time or attention for granted.
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⁉️ I’m working on a forthcoming Ask Clare column all about the things I learned about hosting a wedding. It’s about the things we did to make our day feel special and unique to us, and the advice I wish I’d known before our big day. Questions and suggestions are always welcome for this, or future Ask Clare columns. You can use the link below or simply reply to this email to share your thoughts!
Congratulations Clare 💛 how beautiful 🫶
Congratulations! I really appreciate the thoughtful way you share and reflect, not only in your Artists Way posts but in general too.