I love reading about the work that went into your work! I’m about to start sending out on submission an essay I’ve been writing since March/April and have been researching since last October. It feels like an insane amount of time to put into something with no guarantee of a result, but your post is a reminder that even though we live in an age of seeming immediacy and churn, often, good things take time.
That's very true, Rachel. The things we value most often take time to gestate and take shape. It's also true that I didn't know how to approach an essay that captured such a broad expanse of life and had to figure out how to do it by doing it. I'm hoping my next essays won't take quite so long but if they need to, I hope I'll be OK with that. I'm looking forward to reading your essay whenever it's published!
Thank you for sharing your process. You certainly have perseverance! Underneath that must be a confidence in yourself that is unshakable—even when you feel like giving up. I admire that!
Clare, this post is so insightful! I also do not delete anything but do cut. This practice helped me TREMENDOUSLY while revising my memoir, because I knew that ALL my words were stored somewhere, in earlier drafts, that might be used in future works, such as essays or in other books I write.
Thank you for walking us through your process. I'm so happy for you and all the doors that have opened for you lately!
I don't think I'd be able to delete anything if I didn't have the reassurance that my precious words are not gone exactly, but waiting in another folder ready to be repurposed when the moment presents itself!
I loved that you were so resilient to not ditch this essay which turned out amazing! I salute your perseverance and dedication that you valued your own story to be told. Which is the most valuable kind of story in my eyes! I'm so sorry you went through so much hardship but I'm glad you're so much better off and more equipped with dealing with it. It was also very valuable and interesting for me to read what went into writing this essay, thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing this, Clare!! It’s so inspiring and gives me hope that someday I’ll have an essay published on HuffPost 👏🏼💜 If I’ve learned anything, it’s that perseverance is key when it comes to journalism 😬
Absolutely Lauren. The ability to just stick with it is a hugely under-rated quality in all creative work. I look forward to reading your essay someday soon :)
Wow! First, Congratulations! I googled and found the essay on the Huffington Post and it really touched me. The struggle to find a safe sexuality that belongs only to me has been a lifelong journey. I've had full body flashbacks as you describe in your essay--not fun. More heartbreaking and full of a despair I had to work through. Though I first entered queer life early, I felt just as other with lesbians. Coming out as nonbinary has been my sea change. I'm deeply grateful for your work and am right now working to build community. Yay and congrats again.
Then, thank you for detailing the process of writing and publishing. I submitted to both Modern Love and the Huffington Post recently and at first this substack struck fear into my heart. All those drafts! And so many people giving feedback! But you explain why it worked for you and that helps. It inspires me to dig deeper in my writing and to be more careful that what I send out is really finished.
Thank you Skylar. I'm so glad the essay moved you. I'd love to read more about how coming out as non-binary was a turning point for you. I'm always eager to more deeply understand other dimensions of the queer experience.
Best of luck with your submissions. I hope I'll get to read them soon! What I describe here is what worked for me for this particular piece. I've also had pieces accepted without the editor suggesting any changes. And, I've had the rare "first draft feels complete and I don't need need to meaningfully revise" experience. This particular essay needed a lot of work, but not all of them do. More than anything, I wanted this piece to communicate the importance of sticking with it even in the face of rejection. 💪
Thanks, Clare. Good to know I'm not just a lazy git. Truth is that I will try to be word perfect, but I also secretly think I'm a genius with first drafts. It's a conundrum. I have posts up on my Substack under the gender tab about being nonbinary! Your piece rocked. I can imagine weaving the 3 aspects of the essay together into the whole was challenging. Yay you!
Really enjoyed this post. Writing and journalism is often not financially rewarding but I loved your point of view of why money is not always the most important goal. You write very fluidly, it is a pleasure to read your work. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Joy! Fortitude is a nice word. Stubborness might be a better one, but I wanted this story to be told. And, I wanted to show that woman that she was wrong about my work!
Congrats on the essay Clare! It can be super vulnerable to put out something so personal but I'm glad to hear you got so many great comments. Enjoyed hearing about the craft. Just curious, did you have to pitch Huffington post on your personal essay?
Also, I was lucky enough to be accepted into Modern Love August 2023!
I love reading about the work that went into your work! I’m about to start sending out on submission an essay I’ve been writing since March/April and have been researching since last October. It feels like an insane amount of time to put into something with no guarantee of a result, but your post is a reminder that even though we live in an age of seeming immediacy and churn, often, good things take time.
That's very true, Rachel. The things we value most often take time to gestate and take shape. It's also true that I didn't know how to approach an essay that captured such a broad expanse of life and had to figure out how to do it by doing it. I'm hoping my next essays won't take quite so long but if they need to, I hope I'll be OK with that. I'm looking forward to reading your essay whenever it's published!
Thank you for sharing your process. You certainly have perseverance! Underneath that must be a confidence in yourself that is unshakable—even when you feel like giving up. I admire that!
Thank you Annette, that's very kind. I'm happy to have discovered your work too, and am looking forward to getting more from you in my inbox!
Thank you!
Clare, this post is so insightful! I also do not delete anything but do cut. This practice helped me TREMENDOUSLY while revising my memoir, because I knew that ALL my words were stored somewhere, in earlier drafts, that might be used in future works, such as essays or in other books I write.
Thank you for walking us through your process. I'm so happy for you and all the doors that have opened for you lately!
Thank you Jeannie. That means a lot 🙏
I don't think I'd be able to delete anything if I didn't have the reassurance that my precious words are not gone exactly, but waiting in another folder ready to be repurposed when the moment presents itself!
Agree, Clare!
I loved that you were so resilient to not ditch this essay which turned out amazing! I salute your perseverance and dedication that you valued your own story to be told. Which is the most valuable kind of story in my eyes! I'm so sorry you went through so much hardship but I'm glad you're so much better off and more equipped with dealing with it. It was also very valuable and interesting for me to read what went into writing this essay, thank you for sharing!
Thank you Mazsi. I really appreciate that 🙏
Thank you for sharing this, Clare!! It’s so inspiring and gives me hope that someday I’ll have an essay published on HuffPost 👏🏼💜 If I’ve learned anything, it’s that perseverance is key when it comes to journalism 😬
Absolutely Lauren. The ability to just stick with it is a hugely under-rated quality in all creative work. I look forward to reading your essay someday soon :)
Wow! First, Congratulations! I googled and found the essay on the Huffington Post and it really touched me. The struggle to find a safe sexuality that belongs only to me has been a lifelong journey. I've had full body flashbacks as you describe in your essay--not fun. More heartbreaking and full of a despair I had to work through. Though I first entered queer life early, I felt just as other with lesbians. Coming out as nonbinary has been my sea change. I'm deeply grateful for your work and am right now working to build community. Yay and congrats again.
Then, thank you for detailing the process of writing and publishing. I submitted to both Modern Love and the Huffington Post recently and at first this substack struck fear into my heart. All those drafts! And so many people giving feedback! But you explain why it worked for you and that helps. It inspires me to dig deeper in my writing and to be more careful that what I send out is really finished.
Thank you Skylar. I'm so glad the essay moved you. I'd love to read more about how coming out as non-binary was a turning point for you. I'm always eager to more deeply understand other dimensions of the queer experience.
Best of luck with your submissions. I hope I'll get to read them soon! What I describe here is what worked for me for this particular piece. I've also had pieces accepted without the editor suggesting any changes. And, I've had the rare "first draft feels complete and I don't need need to meaningfully revise" experience. This particular essay needed a lot of work, but not all of them do. More than anything, I wanted this piece to communicate the importance of sticking with it even in the face of rejection. 💪
Thanks, Clare. Good to know I'm not just a lazy git. Truth is that I will try to be word perfect, but I also secretly think I'm a genius with first drafts. It's a conundrum. I have posts up on my Substack under the gender tab about being nonbinary! Your piece rocked. I can imagine weaving the 3 aspects of the essay together into the whole was challenging. Yay you!
Really enjoyed this post. Writing and journalism is often not financially rewarding but I loved your point of view of why money is not always the most important goal. You write very fluidly, it is a pleasure to read your work. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Gemma. I really appreciate your kind words. 🙏
Congrats! I am so impressed you stuck with it - I'm not sure I would have the fortitude!
BTW I use the M&M pizza example all the time.
Thank you Joy! Fortitude is a nice word. Stubborness might be a better one, but I wanted this story to be told. And, I wanted to show that woman that she was wrong about my work!
Congrats on the essay Clare! It can be super vulnerable to put out something so personal but I'm glad to hear you got so many great comments. Enjoyed hearing about the craft. Just curious, did you have to pitch Huffington post on your personal essay?
Also, I was lucky enough to be accepted into Modern Love August 2023!