total yes to this, we need to hear more from "Experts of experience". Thank you for writing and taking this stand. Beautiful writing too. I especially love this paragraph and the concluding sentence: "As political systems swing to the right and wars rage, we need to find new ways to live amidst deep uncertainty. We need to learn to process our grief, pain and trauma. We will need to do it more as the climate crisis intensifies and we’re forced to endure extreme human suffering on this planet. Survivors, as a cohort, have developed a skill set that is very useful in a world of chaos." You are reminding me of something that is currently simmering away on my back burner..I don't know what it will be yet, a collaborative course, a forum, interactive groups, maybe a series of interviews, where I and whoever feels aligned can offer inspiration and tools for navigating our brave new world.
Hi Ellen Anne, thank you for this kind comment. The best ideas often simmer on the back burner for a while before taking shape, but I'm looking forward to seeing what you create.
Gorgeous work. I'm so grateful that our hearts are evolving to share our trauma! We are not alone, even if the others in our world can't hold it with us.
Especially LOVE this metaphor:
“The earth was scorched, all life extinguished, only a barren, blackness remaining. Scorched land is remarkably fertile. Wood ash contains calcium, potassium, and magnesium which makes it a formidable fertiliser. Other nutrients contained in ash neutralise acidic soils and support new growth. Naturally occurring forrest fires are nature’s way of reinventing itself. From that fertile ground, I grew a new life. It was slow and laborious but I made myself a new home, a new life.”
I found this metaphor so inspiring, Clare. It absolutely reframed the trauma I've dealt with, and gives me a new perspective: it wasn't all negative, wasn't all in vain. The idea that survivors are experts also resonantes. I'm just starting to read your substack, but I can tell its going to be meaningful for me.
Nov 14, 2023·edited Nov 14, 2023Liked by Clare Egan
This was really, really fantastic. I have to confess to barking out a laugh of recognition at, in your response to everyone being sad about the pandemic, "'Welcome to the knowledge that your entire life can be wiped out in an instant', I thought, rather ungenerously. "
But what you said straight after was even more powerful. "As political systems swing to the right and wars rage, we need to find new ways to live amidst deep uncertainty." It articulated why I find your writing so helpful right now. Thank you xo
Thanks Em. I know the pandemic was rough for many people in lots of different ways but for those of us who'd been through hell before 2020, it was a very different experience.
Just found your writing, Clare, and I’m appreciating your bravery in sharing here, speaking openly about these parts of life, and in rebuilding your own life too.
I find myself possibly in a similar situation, a bit lost, confused, and exploring as well, leaning into that exploration more, and I’m glad to find your writing.
Hi Sandi, Thanks for your comment. I'm so glad you're here and that this space might be a resource to you in the coming weeks/months/years. I'm also excited to read more of your work!
"But my hesitancy to foreground the trauma says something about how we talk about the worst things that have happened to us. "
This made me cry. My daughter experienced a traumatic event at age 14 and helping her heal has changed the way I see the world. I believe your perspective is going to help me support my daughter more. Thank you for this brave offering. I am so sorry for the pain you have experienced.
Thank you Rachel. I'm so glad you're here. I'm sending good wishes to your daughter too. Trauma is devestating at any age, but it is especially difficult for the young. She is lucky to have you.
Clare, I love this language of "expert by experience." It's so empowering and respectful of people's lived experiences, and their right to write about them.
Thank you so much for this. Part of my own ongoing outness relates to childhood rape and violence. We live in a rape culture that shames us for being victims of a rape culture. It makes me SO ANGRY. Because unless you speak out as you do in this post, the shame continues. We know, absolutely, from the #metoo movement, that sexual trauma is ubiquitous. I remember a male friend saying, "OMG, every woman (and nonbinary person, who would be me) has #metoo on their profile." I was like, "You're surprised? You do live in this world, don't you?" And I am so very proud of the healing. Which doesn't mean there isn't still an undertow. Which doesn't mean I don't still see more. And yes, yes, yes, to the ways a history of violence can offer hope when crises in life return. The idea of being victims who know less, contribute less, is part of the culture that keeps it all going. Congrats on your award! What you're writing is SO IMPORTANT!
I loved reading this post, Clare. So much of what you wrote resonated with me. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for reading Meenakshi. I'm so glad the piece resonated.
total yes to this, we need to hear more from "Experts of experience". Thank you for writing and taking this stand. Beautiful writing too. I especially love this paragraph and the concluding sentence: "As political systems swing to the right and wars rage, we need to find new ways to live amidst deep uncertainty. We need to learn to process our grief, pain and trauma. We will need to do it more as the climate crisis intensifies and we’re forced to endure extreme human suffering on this planet. Survivors, as a cohort, have developed a skill set that is very useful in a world of chaos." You are reminding me of something that is currently simmering away on my back burner..I don't know what it will be yet, a collaborative course, a forum, interactive groups, maybe a series of interviews, where I and whoever feels aligned can offer inspiration and tools for navigating our brave new world.
Hi Ellen Anne, thank you for this kind comment. The best ideas often simmer on the back burner for a while before taking shape, but I'm looking forward to seeing what you create.
Gorgeous work. I'm so grateful that our hearts are evolving to share our trauma! We are not alone, even if the others in our world can't hold it with us.
Especially LOVE this metaphor:
“The earth was scorched, all life extinguished, only a barren, blackness remaining. Scorched land is remarkably fertile. Wood ash contains calcium, potassium, and magnesium which makes it a formidable fertiliser. Other nutrients contained in ash neutralise acidic soils and support new growth. Naturally occurring forrest fires are nature’s way of reinventing itself. From that fertile ground, I grew a new life. It was slow and laborious but I made myself a new home, a new life.”
Thank you Christine. I laboured over that metaphor so I'm very glad that it resonated.
Labors of Love 🥰
I found this metaphor so inspiring, Clare. It absolutely reframed the trauma I've dealt with, and gives me a new perspective: it wasn't all negative, wasn't all in vain. The idea that survivors are experts also resonantes. I'm just starting to read your substack, but I can tell its going to be meaningful for me.
Thank you Janet. I'm so glad you're here
This was really, really fantastic. I have to confess to barking out a laugh of recognition at, in your response to everyone being sad about the pandemic, "'Welcome to the knowledge that your entire life can be wiped out in an instant', I thought, rather ungenerously. "
But what you said straight after was even more powerful. "As political systems swing to the right and wars rage, we need to find new ways to live amidst deep uncertainty." It articulated why I find your writing so helpful right now. Thank you xo
Thanks Em. I know the pandemic was rough for many people in lots of different ways but for those of us who'd been through hell before 2020, it was a very different experience.
yes, it was!
Just found your writing, Clare, and I’m appreciating your bravery in sharing here, speaking openly about these parts of life, and in rebuilding your own life too.
I find myself possibly in a similar situation, a bit lost, confused, and exploring as well, leaning into that exploration more, and I’m glad to find your writing.
Hi Sandi, Thanks for your comment. I'm so glad you're here and that this space might be a resource to you in the coming weeks/months/years. I'm also excited to read more of your work!
"But my hesitancy to foreground the trauma says something about how we talk about the worst things that have happened to us. "
This made me cry. My daughter experienced a traumatic event at age 14 and helping her heal has changed the way I see the world. I believe your perspective is going to help me support my daughter more. Thank you for this brave offering. I am so sorry for the pain you have experienced.
Thank you Rachel. I'm so glad you're here. I'm sending good wishes to your daughter too. Trauma is devestating at any age, but it is especially difficult for the young. She is lucky to have you.
Clare, I love this language of "expert by experience." It's so empowering and respectful of people's lived experiences, and their right to write about them.
I also love your language for describing post-traumatic growth as the fertile period following a forest fire. I dug into that metaphor here as well: https://ryanroseweaver.substack.com/p/2-learned-to-grieve-from-trees/comments
Very glad we're connected here, through the mycelial web of the Internet :)
Love what you say here about your eagerness to 'dwell amidst the questions.' Thank you for sharing. 💜
Thank you Sophie.
Thank you so much for this. Part of my own ongoing outness relates to childhood rape and violence. We live in a rape culture that shames us for being victims of a rape culture. It makes me SO ANGRY. Because unless you speak out as you do in this post, the shame continues. We know, absolutely, from the #metoo movement, that sexual trauma is ubiquitous. I remember a male friend saying, "OMG, every woman (and nonbinary person, who would be me) has #metoo on their profile." I was like, "You're surprised? You do live in this world, don't you?" And I am so very proud of the healing. Which doesn't mean there isn't still an undertow. Which doesn't mean I don't still see more. And yes, yes, yes, to the ways a history of violence can offer hope when crises in life return. The idea of being victims who know less, contribute less, is part of the culture that keeps it all going. Congrats on your award! What you're writing is SO IMPORTANT!