13 Comments

Clare,

Your essay touched on many truths I have not yet been able to name. Because you are familiar with the publishing industry and the unfortunate ghosting of editors, you put words into my experience. You said, "People are busy. It's not a good place to go with my pain." You wrote that the tacit message when an editor neglects to respond to your writing about trauma is that what you went through is, once again, ignored and invalidated.

There's so much going on with what you wrote.

I was thinking about what this means on a societal level. I was asking myself, what is this microcosmic experience Clare wrote about telling us about the world in which we live? There's an underpinning to this--the fact that your health was at stake, that you poured yourself into the work in a visceral way, in a way that elicited an emotional flashback because you dredged up past trauma. That is a very important and vital point you made--how much are we willing to risk of ourselves, of our health, when we do something like this?

What will it take for those in positions of power to listen, to allow trauma survivors to use their voice as change agents? Why all the silencing? When will it stop?

I don't see how healing can happen without the collaboration of brave editors who are willing to put their careers on the line and brave writers who are willing to put their health on the line.

Expand full comment

Thank you Jeannie. I'm always grateful for your thoughtful comments. This experience has certainly made me think about how I protect my health and wellbeing, while also doing the work that's so meaningful to me. Thanks for being here 🙏

Expand full comment

Glad to be here with you. ❤️

Expand full comment

I’m so sorry this happened. That editor! I couldn’t believe the post script - they disappeared on you twice! I applaud your courage in writing this piece.

Expand full comment

Thank you Jackie! I couldn't believe the post script either, but also wasn't surprised! Thank you for reading 🙏

Expand full comment

ARGH! That’s just being a shitty editor and I’m so sorry.

Expand full comment

Yes! A very shitty editor. Thank you for your kind words Joy 🙏

Expand full comment

As usual, dead on. The way the dominant Western culture enforces silence while acting like they're not enforcing silence. The pain of writing about a COMMON life experience of violence so critical to reveal--and that you know people will have trouble holding. Much metta for you. I am personally helped. Yesterday I submitted a personal essay that references trauma. I looked at photos of the editors and my heart went heavy. I hope that the fact that they're all white men doesn't mean that they repress queer stories of trauma. But I bet it does.

Expand full comment

Thank you Skylar and congrats on submitting your piece too. That takes courage. If they do decline to publish it, I hope it'll find a home and that I'll one day get to read it. This space was born from the many rejections I accumulated from mainstream editors who believed my work had no value. When I started looking for my own readers, I found that they were a lot more interested in what I had to say than I ever could have imagined. A huge part of writing, in my experience, is sticking with it despite the rejection. I really hope I'll get to read your essay someday 🙏

Expand full comment

I can’t believe that editor ghosted you twice! When I was reading he finally responded, I thought hey maybe he was late with his response but he will publish it but no! It’s outrageous! I’m so sorry you had to go through this. And I hope you’ll safeguard your wellbeing and mental state in the future! The work you do is really important and valuable but your wellbeing is equally important 🩷

Expand full comment

Thank you Mazsi! I waited for the emotional heat to dissipate a little before pressing publish so I'm not upset about it anymore. But, it was a shit experience and I have learned to be more mindful about which editors will be empathetic toward my most personal work.

Expand full comment

Thank you for writing this.

I was just having a conversation last night with my friend Adam (on here at https://adamchenchew.substack.com), who's working at building journalistic experiences that create empathy and are more respectful/agency-giving to the subjects. I know you're not speaking about that, but it feels like there are some similar threads here, around the way the current model is often not GOOD.

Expand full comment

Thanks for this Em. The current model absolutely does not work, and I say that as someone who's been the journalist, the communications person co-ordinating the interview and the person being interviewed. There has to be a better, more trauma-informed way. Thanks also for the link to Adam's newsletter - I've subscribed! 🙏

Expand full comment