I’m grateful to be.. recovering from Covid (again!)
Some thoughts and recommendations to start your weekend
I’m thankful that after a flurry of publishing, I’m back sitting in my chair meeting myself on the page. I’m thankful for the simplicity of this prompt which channels the rushing rapids of my brain. I’m thankful that I haven’t logged into social media yet today and how it feels like a relief to only exist in my own mental space, my own home.
I’m thankful for my partner and how much we laugh together. I’m thankful that she feels better after visiting the doctor yesterday. I’m thankful for her beautiful brain which decided to take a picture of her negative antigen test in the foreground and the TV news in the background to prove that it was a current test. “Like the kidnappers do,” she said, “when they need to show the captive is still alive.”
I’m thankful that tomorrow we’ll board a flight - two flights - and fly to the other side of the world. I’m thankful for the opportunity to immerse myself in a completely new experience. I’m thankful for all I will learn and see and do. I’m thankful for the food and the views and the rich cultural context. I’m thankful for the experience of feeling out of my head and inside my body. I’m thankful for the challenge of traveling light, of bringing only what I need and knowing that it will be enough. I’m thankful for the way my cache will be thoroughly cleared by this wide and wonderful world.
I wrote those words exactly a month ago, before my partner and I flew to Vietnam for a 2.5 week holiday. I soaked up every moment of the trip, though coming home has been rough. I’ve attempted to write two newsletters for each of the two Fridays since we've been home, and neither worked.
Today, I’m sick for the second time in 2 months. This time it’s covid. I’m on day 4 of symptoms which are thankfully quite mild and easily managed with over the counter meds and rest. But frustration is difficult to medicate. Last night, I set a timer for one minute and allowed myself to rant and rage just to get it out of my body. One minute wasn’t enough. I needed 3 minutes of breathless raging but once it was done, I felt better.
I’ve canceled everything. Isolating with covid feels almost quaint at this point, a hangover from the olden days of 2020. But I know how fortunate I am for illness to be an annoyance, rather than a reason to panic.
I didn’t want to let another week tick by without sharing some of the exciting things that have been happening since I was last in touch.
I was delighted to publish a reading list on queer ecology with Longreads. It was a joy to research and write, and I really hope you enjoy reading it.
I wrote about Ocean Vuong’s amazing novel ‘On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous” for GCN.
My first literary publication, in the third issue of Púca, will be out soon. It’s a short but hard to describe essay called ‘The Haunted Hot Water Bottle. (It was a thrill to hear that it’d been accepted. After I published this, back in February, I got a handful more rejections. And then, in what feels like an example of persistence paying off, a handful of commissions.)
While in sick bay this week, I reworked my publications page too. It might not look like much but it took hours of lightly medicated clicking to get everything to (mostly!) align.
That’s all my covid-y brain has to offer today. If you can, please go outside, breathe the fresh air and enjoy not being contagious.
Clare x
5 things
“It suggests that we have a high cultural tolerance for women’s suffering,” Thurston says. “It’s not regarded as important.””
Just ordered a second emergency pair of these because I love them that much.
A thought-provoking twitter thread.
A cute house.
Used one of my favourite prompts “I’m thankful that” to write first chunk of this newsletter. Thanks to Justin for the inspiration. Here’s a piece I wrote, way back in 2016, using the same prompt.